this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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