ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i out mim tonsoeep
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
