Your tits are I can't wait for
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
