She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
