Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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