farters have to be the big spoon...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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