OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize