What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
