i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
