but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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