Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize