I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
