I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
