I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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