Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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