I must be too annoying 4 u.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
