how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
