It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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