real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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