and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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