this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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