i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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