You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
