was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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