you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
