So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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