epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
