I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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