Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
