I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
