you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
