You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize