ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
