Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
