Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
