I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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