I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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