All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize