I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
