And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
pop tarts are not kleenex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
