I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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