he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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