Non-Jews are for practice
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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