Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize