Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The struggles of a small town man whore
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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