i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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