dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
