Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
