i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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