You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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