We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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