I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
