New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
