your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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