none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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