just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
