How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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