TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
false alarm. still invincible.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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