You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
