Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize