Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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