Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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