Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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