Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
