Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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