This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
