Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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