Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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