So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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