You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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