I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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