I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
