i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
