I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
