just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
