this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
